An extremly rough day

I had such a rough day today, it’s unbelievable. I really, really wish I had someone living here that I could talk about it with, but no one would understand. So I’m just gonna post it here and I apologize in advance for that, I just really need to get it out of my system.
So today was a day that everything went wrong. I had insomnia the night before, and I had to wake up much earlier then expected to get to work in the morning. I was stressed out, under pressure and it seemed like everything was going wrong. Then my boyfriend calls me, and he’s all suicidal and depressive. And I had to sit there and listen to him, and to be honest I wasn’t in the most patient of moods. It just seemed to me like he thought he was the only one that has problems, but the fact of the matter is I’m just as messed up if not more so, then he is. Don’t get me wrong, I want to be there for him, it’s just that he caught me at a very bad time. He actually ended up getting upset at me, and venting all his negative emotions, but thankfully he relaxed a while later and his mood brightened up. To top it all off I was starving hungry the entire time and I ended up satisfying my weekly sugar craving. I don’t think I crossed the 500 cal line, but I still felt horrible afterwards. It’s so stupid, whenever I’m in a bad mood, I take that as justification to give into my cravings. The truth is, instead of making me feel better, I ALWAYS feel worse afterwards
The afternoon was better, 2 celery sticks, a pickle and a black coffee. It was still very stressful, but when I have my eating under control, things are automatically at least a little bit better. Finnaly I get home, after a rough day and all I want to do is relax. And from the second I got home people are trying to shove food in my mouth. What the hell is wrong with these people! Is it like mandatory that I eat or something? It really gets on my nerves when people do that. Then they decide to have a big barbeque and invite my family and all. Of course I have no intention of joining in on that festive occasion, but for the sake of good manners I decided to hang around . So I’m sitting in the kitchen with my boyfriend, sipping my green tea, and someone comes in and offers me some barbequed fish. I’m about to refuse when my mom asks me if she can have my piece. So I go and get my fish, pretend it’s for me and bring it into the kitchen for my mom to eat. And on the way there my boyfriend sees me and says “Oh look, Lisa’s eating. It’s a miracle!” God, that guy has no sense of tact whatsoever. Anyways, so I give my fish to my mom, and then he realizes that I won’t be eating any, so he offers me his. Obviously, I wasn’t planning on eating in the 1st place, so I try to politely decline. But no, he starts ordering me to eat it. I’m sorry, but I don’t like people ordering me around in general, but especially so when it comes to food. At that moment tons of people come in the kitchen and start asking me if I ate, or if I want some food, because there’s one extra fish (just my luck). So I’m trying to excuse my way out of it when my boyfriend says (in the most spiteful tone imaginable) “She won’t eat it, it’s too fattening.” And as I’m trying to explain why I don’t want to eat it, everyone starts talking to me all at once, calling me anorexic, telling me to eat and all this shit. And my boyfriend just sits there and fuels the conversation along. Like what the fuck!!!! Why do you care so much if I eat or not. You like my body the way it is now, how do you think I manage to keep it up, asshole! I was there to support you when you needed me earlier today, do I deserve any less? Anyways, at that moment I just felt so trapped, I was about to burst into tears. I felt so upset, frustrated and betrayed. No one wanted to listen to me, my boyfriend pretty much just stabbed me in the back, and everyone is prying into my private life. My mom was an absolute hero in this situation. She was watching this all happen from the dining room, so over the accusations she said something to the extent of “Just take off somewhere and go relax.” She probably saw how affected I was getting by all this. I think it wouldn’t have bothered me so much if there hadn’t been so many people, or at least if my boyfriend hadn’t been there. But at that moment I just felt like the whole world was against me, and I was all alone. So I just went out jogging. As soon as I was out of sight of the house I started crying and crying. There’s only so much one person can take, and that just pushed me over the limit. I’m tired of it all, I’m tired of having to try so hard to keep up this “tough, in control” façade. I ran for about 1 hour straight, and then worked out for another 30-45 minutes. Somehow I felt better after that, and I went on with my evening: watched a movie, took a hot bath and relaxed. But I still get so angry when I think about that whole situation. Who the fuck do they think they are that they can control the way I eat? Because of that, as of tomorrow I’m starting a 7 day fast. Let’s see them try to get me to eat anything then. They just gave me more motivation to stave myself, because the more people try to get me to eat, the less I feel like eating. And I don’t care what they think or don’t think about me. Ana’s my only true friend right now, and I’m gonna stick by her no matter what.