Another Monday.

Blah, another monday, another not so great weekend.
Same old story, and I'm really getting sick and tired of it. I just don't know what to do with myself anymore.
Anyways, today was an ok day. All in all, I ate 200 calories and did an hour of cardio and another 20 minutes of ab work. Plus I'm walking around with weights all day, and I'm sure that does something. My stomache still looks bloated though, always does after I eat more then I should. It's like I spend all week getting my stomach flat and then boom, mess it up over the weekend. Aren't I smart?
But sometimes I feel like the circumstances around me make it so much harder to maintain control. I wish in some ways i could just live alone. I would pack my fridge with greens and fruit - nothing else. But there are people around me that i need to convince I'm eating, I'm sometimes forced by pure fate to be in the kitchen for extended periods of time, and there's always things like BBQ's and parties that I need to excuse myself out of. Ah, life is sometimes so difficult.
Of course, in the end if I want this bad enough I know i can get over all that. If I REALLY want this (and I do) I'll learn to work around the problems and find solutions. I'll acheive the perfect control and NOTHING will break my resolve. I just need to work towards reaching that state.
And people are taking more and more interest in my eating. But I really can't afford to eat right now. I ate a bit over the weekend, just to get them off my back -- didn't help. I've already had 10 people ask me about what I'm eating and when , all in just 2 days. GOd damn these people, they really need to get a life!!! I think the reason for all this extra attention is that I'm wearing less clothes now that it's summer, so the fact that I've lost weight it harder to hide. But pretending to eat takes so much time and effort, plus now that everyone is examining my eating habits it's gonna be a whole lot harder to fool them. Anyone got any ideas on how I can get them off my back?
I just really don't want to switch to "mainaining mode" just because of these silly people. It's just really pissing me off the way they are trying to force me to eat. I eat when I want and where i want. Someone ordered me to join the people outside that were having a BBQ. And of course i was like "Hell no!" and i did 20 min of ab work. The harder they push me, the less I'll eat. Hope these people realize that soon.
Ugh I just need everyone to leave me alone, so i can get rid of my bloated stomach and feel semi-decent again. This better not snowball into something bigger, I don't feel like dealing with all sorts of accusations and drama right now.
I just don't know what to do.