I'm back...

So I'm finnaly back. It took a while, but pretty much this whole past week has been about gaining control and keeping it, which I think I finnaly achieved. It was difficult for sure, but i feel a lot better about myself now then i did before. I know I'm a lot more in control. I can look at my trigger food without being tempted to eat it. I can pick up food and put it back, without a huge struggle. I can logicaly think about each bite before i put it into my mouth, without just eating like a crazy, half-starved animal and shoving everything in sight into my mouth. Ah, it's good to be back.
Today i ate a grand total of 150 cal. Not bad, considering I expected a whole lot worse, seeing my family and all. They're always shoving food into me, and making me eat. But i ate only about a cup of watermellon and 4 celery stalks. I drank 1 cup of low-cal fruit juice (50 cal per cup) and had 2 cups of cofee. Didn't get in any real work out today, but I was on my feet pretty much all day (not to mention the added exersise my ankle weights give me)so I think I'm in the safe zone. I would work out, but I've got too much on my mind right now.

But people are getting more and more into the way I'm eating. My mom got me a pair of shorts, that she was sure were too small and they ended up being a perfect fit. And then my "thin friend" fit into pants that were too big for me. Probably just because our body shapes are diffrent, but it's still a good feeling. Of course, my stomach is still round as it ever was, and my arms are big too, but I know i can get down to my goal... So long as people stop talking about my eating habits behind my back. My mom gave me this whole speech today, how my eating habits are spiraling out of control and how people are talking about me behind my back. And I pretty much told her "Tell those people to stop being jealous and mind their own buisness!" I know exactly who's starting all this fuss, and it's this jelous girl that's trying to lose weight, but she can't stay away from hot dogs, ice-cream, cake and french fries. If i ate like her and never exersised, I'd be fat too. As a matter of fact anyone would. Oh well, she's just bitter. But the more she pushes me to eat, the less I will eat. That's just the way it works with me.

Ok, the weekend is going to be tough. My friends are inviting all of their friends over for a party. Huge barabque themed event, with tons of fattening food. Then someone else invited me to their birthday party tomorrow. Ugh, I don't know how I'll survive the weekend, but then there's a will there's a way.

Here's some thinspo to keep us all a little more inspired. Stay stong everyone!!!