It's a new day, and everything looks better today then it did yesterday. Thank God, because being depressed downright sucks :P
So far all I've eaten is 100 cal bowl of oatmeal and one 60 cal soup. I'm not even hungry to be honest, so that's good. I think I've gotten my control back, and it feels good.
My little brother did the cutest thing today. He's 3 yrs old and i love him like nothing else. Anyways i was sitting on a sofa, eating my soup and feeling strangely guilty about it and my little brother came up to me and threw his arms around me, gave me a kiss and said "I love you!" It almost made be cry because i was so touched. Maybe I'm being overly sentimental but something about that really hit a nerve. Sure, he's said it before, but usually i say "I love you" and then he replies "I love you too." But this was different. This was so spontaneous and natural and i can tell he really meant it. He kept hugging me for a while, and then brought over some toys to play with me.
I think that's what i love about kids, especially young ones. They're so unpretentious, they don't have any ulterior motives. When they say "I love you" they really mean it. They don't want something from you, they don't want to get into your pants, they don't want to screw you over. They just love you because you're you. They're so pure, so honest (almost painfully sometimes though :P),so natural. Ah, i love em'
Sucks, because i don't think I'll ever be able to have any. Oh well, who knows.
On a completely different topic, I'm faced with sort of a dilemma. There's a party at one of my acquaintances house and I'm not sure if i want to go or not. There's gonna be food there and I KNOW I'll have to eat. Plus, I don't like that person that much anyways :P. On the other hand I've been so antisocial recently, I feel like I should do something, even just to get out of my little shell. But i really, really don't want to gain any more weight. So what should it be - losing weight or being sociable. It's a really tough decisions. Any suggestions?
About Me
- slowly fading
- Fairies and nymphs, water and sunlight, control and satisfaction, happiness and perfection.
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Just constantly have a drink in your hand. You must've avoided suspicion before? One slice of pizza or whatever. Don't be antisocial, its the one thing that'll really break you down. Go out, Have fun!
ReplyDeleteyour little brother sounds adorable!
ReplyDeletego to the party girl, its one thing to be thin, but why be thin if you cant enjoy life ?!
go to the party, drink some vodka & if any one says anything pretend to eat a pizza or some potato chips! :) x