I'm so tired of the drama, of the stress, of everything my life is.
Had a crappy yesterday, weighed in today and I weigh less... yay!!
People are on my back about eating again, they want to know what "healthy weight" i want to maintain and they don't want me to go lower. Fuck them!
School is hella hectic, my roommate is being a bitch - I'm going to have a fucking nervous breakdown.
I have this panicky feeling at the bottom of my gut, and i don't know how to get rid of it. I tried binging, can you believe that i actually TRIED to binge in hopes it would make me feel better. I had a few spoonfuls of this and that, but i just feel too guilty to eat - it wasn't helping.
So I'm sitting here trying to clear my mind, trying to study, trying to stay calm and breath, just breath. I feel guilty about the few bites of food i had, i feel guilty that i don't feel strong enough to count calories, I feel guilty like I'm not strong enough to cope with this.
There's no one to talk to about this, no one to unburden to - just me and my soon to be very fat self.
Please help me! I can't take this anymore!
About Me
- slowly fading
- Fairies and nymphs, water and sunlight, control and satisfaction, happiness and perfection.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Stay strong and breathe. I hate feeling helpless. I'm so sorry you have to go through it all. I hate the thought of people feeling alone. Love and happy thoughts, T.
ReplyDeletei know exactly how you feel. try taking a long walk by yourself - it will burn some calories and also it helps me to think when i'm all alone. and you don't have to worry about other people for a little while. it'll be ok. and never forget that you've got us.
ReplyDeleteAwww, I wish we could all just give you a big ol' group hug. :[
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you feel so bad, girl, but you're strong, and you have us by your side. Everything's going to turn out ok somehow.
but hey, you could`ve continued that binge and it would`ve turned out horrible, this just proves that you CAN do this... I know I wouldn`t have stopped.
ReplyDeletelet out everything here so you don`t feel like carrying such a burden all the time.
I hope you feel better tomorrow :)
(k)