bored....

Ok, so i have just concluded that my blog is officially boring, especially the most recent posts. I don't even feel like reading over the things I've posted :P. But once my computer is up and running again (pretty soon i hope) I'll try fixing it up a little. In the meantime, bear with me my dear followers, things should get better soon.

Past few days have been ok, nothing much going on. I'm absolutely exhausted after last week and i don't think this week will be anymore relaxing. Oh well, such is life. Trying to adjust my schedule to make time for more things that i enjoy, but its really not working out. It seems that i have more on my plate then i can already handle, and trying to keep up with my 2 hr work out goal is looking more and more daunting. But where there's a will there's a way, and there's a lot of will here. Fitness has always been a priority for me, and that is NOT going to change.

People are getting more and more into my eating habits. I have a feeling that a full on investigation will ensue unless i start eating more. My mom said something to the extent of "I think you're loosing the ground you gained" referring to my ED. And i was thinking "What ground? I never gained any ground. I honestly never believed i could recover. I gave it my best shot, i really did, but it was just too hard. I'm kind of happy now, so leave me alone!" But i just smiled and told her she was being silly and worrying too much. But one of these days all these thoughts that are going through my head are going to come out of my mouth, and it won't be a good day.

In spite of it all i fasted today, no work out though :(. I was waaaaay too tired from just running around the whole day to do anything more then just collapse. Oh well, as of next week i will be towing the line as far as exercise is concerned, weather i want to or not. Of course, this is just a grand plan, we'll see about realizing it.

I want to be able to find some time to enjoy life though. I really enjoy working and studying, i do, but i feel like i deserve some me time. Unfortunately, i feel guilty taking free time if i haven't worked out for example. But there are so many beautiful things in life, and it's a pity that there are times that i forget all about them. I have to find a way to make that change. Is that a good attitude to have? Or am i being too lazy and spoiling myself? It's a constant battle going on in my brain, and i really can't make up my mind either way.

Hope ya'll have a good week ahead (and deep inside i hope the same for me :P).Take care!