I don't feel like thinking up a title right now, so i won't. Let's see, what's happened over the last week. I had a binge on Thursday. I got sick, so i couldn't go and study, and since i was at home with people shoving food in my face, the inevitable happened. But one good thing came out of that, and that is that my body finally learned how to purge. It's something i couldn't do before, my body just refused to reject food. Well, all that has changed now and it's helpful. It's not something that i want to get addicted on in any case, because i still hate purging, but it's a good "emergency escape " so to speak.
Friday was good only 200 cal. Today was pretty good too, could have been better but i got weak towards the end. I would say about 300-400 cal. The reason i don't know exactly is because i ate 400, but i purged a bit too, so I'm not sure what to leave it at. I guess it's good I ate a little more today though, because we're having a BBQ later on, and i probably would have binged otherwise. I plan to have either a really low cal day 200 cal or under, or fast tomorrow. I'm seeing my family though, and that's always tricky. Today my mom cornered me and started asking me what i ate that day. All i had was oatmeal for breakfast, but i was honestly too sick and too tired at that point to lie convincingly. I just walked off to lie down. I hate it when they care so much, when they ask me stupid questions like that. I'm making a personal decisions how i want to eat here, it's none of your business for God's sake!!! I know they care and all, but they just can't possibly understand. All their comments and pushing just makes me not want to eat even more. Of course, evening came around and i ate some more (stupid me). Oh well, could have been worse, it was all "semi-safe" foods so I'm ok. I was craving cookies so badly earlier on though, so i gave in and had a few. They were tiny and made with whole wheat flour and all that (i never eat anything that's made with white flour) but i still felt bad after it- thus the purge.
Right now my head is pounding and it feels like its about to explode. I should work out, but I'm so tired and i feel so sick. Maybe I'm just being stupid and lazy, i don't know. Everything's kind of hazy right now, I'm not sure if I'm making sense. Must be my excruciating headache.

Oh and FINDING THIN, thanks for the comment. I wanted to comment on your blog too, but something is weird and i can't. I just really admire your strength. Gaining weight after recovery is awful and it's something I'm having to deal with right now. My goal weight is the same as yours, and so far just reading your stats has been a huge inspiration to me. I know that with your kind of determination you'll lose all that weight in no time. Good luck to you!

Ok, im gonna go hang out with my friends and watch them eat fattening sausages and bread (yuck). Hope you girls are all doing well!