FUCK ALL YOU JELOUSE BITCHES!!!

Sorry for the profane title, i just really needed to get that out. Today i was standing in the kitchen making oatmeal and then the inevitable happened. Actually, the only reason i was making oatmeal was so that people could see me eat, because i wasn't even hungry. But there I was and our cook/neighbor lady comes up to me and says "What do you put in your cereal that I don't put in mine?" You see, she had already made oatmeal but it was this sugary, sweet, milky stuff that i won't touch with a ten foot pole. I just replied quietly "I don't put sugar and milk in it" And then all hell broke loose. She started calling me anorexic and telling me about her friends neice that died from anorexia a few years ago. There were other people milling around in the kitchen and they started cheering her on and saying stuff like "she's not the 1st one that's saying this though", "it's true, you are very skinny". I sat there for about 15 minutes listening to every accusation in the book, then i just walked out. I went into my friends room, sat down on the floor, pulled my face up to me knees and cried. He kept asking me why i was crying and i told him and he said was "that's not very nice". I know he couldn't understand, but being around someone else made it better. But after i cried i got so God damned mad. Who the hell is she to accuse me of eating unhealthy. Right now I eat more then i used to. And she obviously doesn't know anorexics if she thinks I'm one. I hate people that throw that term around and use it on anyone that eats slightly less then other people. I have food issues, yes, but i still control this thing, it doesn't control me. I know i haven't heard the end of it, I think I'm at th brink of another intervention. It's been building for a while, but I think this was the last straw. I just wish I hadn't gone in to make breakfast, then everything could have continued on the way it was. Well, no point looking back, I'm just going to deal with this situation as it comes. But I am NOT going to give up without a fight, I am NOT going to let fat take over my life. SO here's the plan.

For about 2 weeks I'm going to eat 500-800 calories a day. If i gain some weight, so be it. It's better then going into recovery again. They can't do an intervention on me if I'm eating, right? But all my food is going to be low-fat, ultra healthy stuff. Who knows, i might even boost my metabolism during this time and then i can lose weight even faster. But i need to keep this intervention from happening, i need them to know that I'm ok. I am NOT giving up without a fight, NO ONE has the right to tell me how to live my life. I CAN do this!


If any of you girls have been in a similar situation, please feel free to share any tips you might have. If not, just wish me luck! Take care all!