Finally a fast

So i fasted today and I feel pretty good. Sure i still look in the mirror and see a fatty, but i forgot how good of a feeling it is to be empty. I did one and a half hours of work out today, and had only one cup of cofee. Those extra calories must be keeping me going (damn them!). But it's ok, right now I feel nice and empty.

I got another "We think you're anorexic" talk, this time from my mom. I was laughing the whole time. How can they think a fat pig like me is anorexic?? I had a binge this week, and then 2 days with an exeptionaly high calorie intake. Well I got to weigh myself today (in front of my mom, to prove a point). I had my ankle weights on, so I knew it would show a higher number. And lo and behold, I lost 3 pounds. I know it's not an impressive ammount, but at least I'm losing and not gaining, even though my control wasn't the best this week. I'm actually bloated right now for some strange reason, so when I lose that the numbers should go even lower. That was my biggest fear, that I was gaining weight through this whole ordeal. But I'm not, and even though I'm losing slowly, at least I'm losing and not gaining. I still see a fat pig when i look in the mirror, but at least im going somewhere. I'm so buying a scale this week, so I can finnaly not be afraid of the unknown and chart my progress.

Anyhow, I hope all this paranoia blows over and I can buy that scale. Stay strong everyone!!!