Drama, drama, drama

Ok, so my life is officially falling apart. And for some reason I'm surprisingly calm about it, don't know if that's good or bad.

To start off, my parents did a mini "intervention" style thing. Apparetly the people I've been living with are making comments as to how I'm losing "oh so much weight". Yeah, so they're all fatties and anyone that is slightly slimer then them is "underweight". Anyhow my dad and I met out and we were talking and then he says "I know anorexia is a strong word, but..." And inside my head I'm screaming "shit, shit, shit, shit!!!" So now everyone is monitoring my food intake and I have to have dinner with my friends or family EVERY day. Anyhow, that happened yeasterday and I still managed to consume only 250 calories. All i ate was some veggies and 1/2 cup baked fish (i washed it off 1st to make sure there was nothing on it, and it tasted pretty bland so i think I'm in the safe zone.) Anyways I burned 500 cal working out (not counting all the walking i did) so i think I'm ok. Probably my calorie intake is going to have to go up from now on, but I'll still be sticking to low-fat protein and fruits and veggies, until this whole thing lets up. Hopefully it's just a faze, and it'll blow over with time.

I'm not sure how well I'm going to do today, because I'm kinda traumatized right now. My boyfriend left for the States... says its temporary, but I don't think he'll even be coming back. I'm just afraid for him right now. Yeasterday he totally flipped, my friends were going to put him in the hospital. They didn't let me see him till he calmed down, because he was just going balistic. He drunk himself silly, so he got depressed, confrontational and angry. They made him stay at a hotel for the night - because they were afraid he was dangerous and he's leaving today. In my best interests no one wants me to see him right now, and I think it might be easier on him if i don't. Last night I talked to him once he calmed down a little, right before he left. I'm not sure how much he'll remember, but i think i convinced him not to kill himeself for the time being. That atmosphere here is really tense, because everyone is still kind of in shock after all the crap that went down last night. Right now i feel kind of numb. I hardly sleped last night, and this morning i just feel weird. I'm scared of the way i feel right now, because i feel like I "deserve" to binge, because I've been though so much drama. Thankfully I don't really crave anything right now, so I just MIGHT be able to stay in control. As long as I eat under 500 cal and burn 500 cal working out I'll be ok.

Wish me luck people! I hope the worst is over now.