I was trying to eat under 500 cal today... didn't work out as I planned. One trip to a restaurant with my friends ruined it all.
No out of control binging though, although i was tempted.
Right now I feel so so so so fat. I don't think there's a way to describe it. I'm looking at my fingers typing on the keys and even they look fatter. Some people might say it's all in my mind, but it really isn't.
Enough, I know that putting myself down won't do any good. I need to believe in myself, believe that i can do this. I need to be able to get up and keep trying after I've fallen, instead of going down the road of depression that accopannies every failure. I KNOW I'm strong enough. I just need to try harder.
I hope tomorrow will be a better day, and i will try to do everything in my power to ensure that it is.
Wish me luck everyone!
About Me
- slowly fading
- Fairies and nymphs, water and sunlight, control and satisfaction, happiness and perfection.
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hey...thanks for commenting on my blog...it's sorta nice to know there's someone out there with similar problems. I know what you mean by feeling fat. After living with an eating disorder, fat becomes more than an adjective for the physical...it becomes an emotion, a perspective...totally pervasive. It colors the world. So I know what you mean. And it's a horrible feeling. Better luck tomorrow...to all of us.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry you feel so trapped by food right now. I wish you all my luck love and just know that you will be away from your parents soon and able to eat what you want. :)
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